Thick skin... on Day 80.

You know, for someone with some experience in living abroad (albeit not long term previously), I would have thought that I would have "thicker" skin than I do... at least as this point.

Maybe it's delayed "culture shock" to my integration into German society, I don't know... but a wee bit o' paranoia has crept into my psyche that many of the German citizens I pass on the street are about to (and often do it seems) almost "immediately" talk out loud amongst themselves "American... Amerikaner... die Vereinigten Staten... Englisch..." after I pass.

This is as if I am of bad hearing and will not hear them, or ignorant of the German language (although still limited, I am learning quickly)... OR, they really just don't care if I know or am offended.. and wish to belittle my making the attemp to fit in, or my decision to come here. Xenephobia in all its forms is almost always bad.

Normally, I would take it in stride and just realize that being from America is both a priviledge and a responsibility at times, and being an expat... sometimes a burden, in that you have to refrain from responding to every perceived slight. Most of the time, I certainly understand that people mean no real disrespect, and most often are interested in a good way - I do get that. However, I seem to encounter more and more those who wish to laugh at or make light of being American... or looking or sounding American... as if being one was a reason to be self-conscious or laughable.

I have experienced many great situations here already, and have often encountered very friendly German citizens who love America and Americans, or if they don't, certainly respect them and are civil. This other trend is a real test of the philosohpy I espouse to, and many world travelers do... to accept these things as what they are, people who do not know you merely making rash judgments on someone they don't understand, but have heard so much about in the media... that much of the time to react in a defensive, excitable manner would only serve to provide them proof of what they naturally ASSUME to be the correct version of Americans - loud, obnoxious, superficial, un-intelligent, ignorant of world affairs, warlike, and materialistic...

As an American ambassador abroad, and I am exactly that - as are other Americans abroad, like it or not... I have to sometimes internalize these things, and "let it go"... even when a response would be justified, knowing that real "victory" in such an encounter is to show them something they don't expect... an American who is culture-savvy and knows something of what they think they see in us, someone not overly defensive and ready to anger, and someone who tries to give them some "extra rope" in the hope that they will "come around" to the idea that I (and we) are much better people than we are so often given credit for.

I did in fact move HERE, and along with the fact that I have had mostly good experiences with Germans - having met for example 3 very warm, interesting, and respectful Germans (hiya Olaf, Sarah, and Jamc!) - I do have a greater responsibility to "fit in" and understand them, than they do to understand me... that said, we Americans who do end up going back to the USA (I personally plan to stay in Europe for some time) do take our "experience report cards" back home with us... if Germans (and Europeans in general) wish us to do more to get to know them and integrate into their societies - which I firmly believe in - then they need to return the favor and appreciate and acknowledge at least some of these efforts, if they wish Americans returning to the US to talk positively of their time in Germany and Europe.

Ciao, und schoenen Tag!

BT